“Even though my heart is in pieces, all the pieces are still there” – longtime leader on Spine Race DNF

Finnish runner Johanna Antila looked to have put together almost the perfect race at the Montane Winter Spine last week.

She led for more than 250 of the 268 miles in the snow and ice up the Pennine Way in what is billed as ‘Britain’s most brutal’ ultramarathon.

For much of that time she was joined by Britain’s Anna Troup and it looked like the two would cross the line together in Kirk Yetholm on the English / Scottish border.

As Johanna put it herself: “415km in the legs, 103 hours of moving behind me, 2 hours of sleep and ahead the final 15km, mostly downhill.”

But that was as far as her mind and body would let her go, with race organisers explaining at the time: “Johanna, who has been leading the race alongside Anna Troup since the early stages, took the brave and sensible decision to end her race just before Hut Two.

“Johanna is an incredible runner, and to cover nearly 255 miles of the Pennine Way, racing a Spine legend the entire time, is simply remarkable.”

Heart-breaking exit

Antila has now written about the experience, saying on her Instagram page: “The best way to describe it would be ‘my soul left my body.’ I just… existed.

“I went far and I went long, but no further. The mind stopped the body’s progress towards the finish a little too early.

“A DNF, and from the lead of the race no less. From first place straight to below the last name on the results list.”

Troup would press on to the finish to add a Winter Spine success to her three Summer titles but rather than wonder about what might have been, Johanna has rightly taken many positives from her own experience.

Deeply emotional

She added: “This time though, DNF meant almost everything I was seeking from the race. My limits and new experiences.

“I feel deeply emotional about the journey I had. I got what I wanted. Winning would have been great, but it wouldn’t have changed what I experienced along the way.

“Even though my heart is in pieces, all the pieces are still there.”